Going To Freak Out

As I sit here I can feel the panic attack beginning...

I have an awful phobia of throwing up. Honestly, I do. I ended up in hospital a few weeks ago because I woke up and I knew that I was going to. I went into outright panic mode. I'm about to do the same right now.
Eirene has a friend sleeping over. I got up to check on the when I hear this retching. Its her little friend throwing up in his sleep. Now of course my immediate concern was to make sure that he was okay... he was so far out of it that he didn't realize what was going on. Then I grabbed Eirene and took her from the room. After that I got him up, got the shower running and called his mother, whom I will find a name for later, to come and pick him up. She said just wash him and put him back in bed!
Well for crying out loud, has this woman learned nothing about how I feel about vomiting!!!
Firstly, you would think that she would come and get her child because that is the thing to do when they're not well- take care of them. Secondly, she knows it freaks me out!
I'm going to be freaking out for days over this. (He seems fine now by the way).

I wasn't feeling very well earlier but I put that down to having my period. But this is going to set me right back to the beginning. I was progressing so well and this, well. I want her to come and get him now. I think I made that pretty obvious.

Its probably just over eating. I hope its just over eating. Far out. I should take a diazapam.

Brief Moments of Arrogance

My plans were already undecided when I saw him standing across the road- Mr. TD. For a moment I realized why Hippolytus fancied me. It's all about physical attraction (that's where I lose the connection with Hippolytus, I don't understand what he sees in my resemblance to a koala), perhaps even chemistry. I don't know a thing about Mr. TD other than I wouldn't mind him pressing those full lips against mine.
I was trying to decide whether to take up residence in a friend's back yard, window shop or go to the library for an hour when his presence added another element to my indecision. If he was catching the bus then perhaps I should go to my friend's place, giving me a chance to perhaps work up the nerve to actually say something to him... sort of like Hippolytus did with me (though I think that perhaps that has more to do with finally being caught out, and considering my rejection of him its probably not the scenario that I most want to emulate).
One clarifying thought passed through my swiss cheese brain- "What are the chances that he's attracted to you too! Step out of it woman, face reality."
Though for the briefest of moments I knew that I could feel his eyes on me. Though was he was looking at me with bemusement (there was an incident a few months ago with Metis that would have left no doubt in MR. TD's mind that I fancied him) or was that blissful moment of arrogance where I was certain that he wanted to talk to me too really possible.
At least I allow myself those moments now, no matter how fleeting they are.

Playground Fun

After Fraus blamed Metis, which she basically did (how in the hell does this have anything to do with Metis?), I started thinking. Metis gets the blame for a lot of things. Like this most things probably have nothing to do with her at all. Like Hippolytus. I started wondering how these people that seemed so nice to start with, were even friends, became such morons whos favourite pasttime is making other people life misery. Then I discovered there was one common demoniator-

Pasiphae

I don't know the woman. I've only encountered her twice- the time she ambushed me and at a child's birthday party. I don't know the woman, only that she leaves me feeling uncomfortable. Yet as I think about it she is the one person that all these people have in common when they start becoming banshees is Pasiphae. Like Pyrrha. She was always nice. Not the brightest cookie and a bit of a drunk but nice. Now she starts rumors and bitchs about other people for entertainment. Lamiai and Metis used to be friends. A few months ago Lamiai would stop and speak to her. Then she became
closer friends with Pasiphae. Now they don't talk at all. As we all know I don't know Lamiai but if she's anything like people say she is, she's become a cow too.
And now Fraus. I've bitched and moaned about her the whole time because she's, well nuts and insecure and about a thousand other things. She only ever really started becoming unbearable after she started hanging out with Pasiphae!
Even this morning when I spoke to Ms. Minerva she insinuated that Pasiphae and a her friends were malicious. It wasn't hard to understand what she was inferring when she said some of the problems the canteen was having when Chris was in there was because of Pasiphae and her posse.
Oh well. Now I have to find something to do to fill my days. I really want the job.
Actually, I really want to be a writer. But I'm feelign vindictive today so I really want the job. Ugh.
Que sera sera.

Bitching and Backstabbing

Won't be volunteering in The Shop ever again.
Not because I didn't get an interview. The job has to be re advertised because they advertised it as full time when it is only part time. I won't be going in because Fraus is a bitch.
I sent her a message yesterday- Eirene won't be going to school today. I figured I would let her know that I wasn't coming in because that's the polite thing to do. (Eirene and I were playing hooky). Her response was- What ever. In Fraus speak that means she's really pissed off. It's what she says when she's being a self righteous twat. She didn't bother to ask how Eirene was, which others did. She just got on her high horse. I responded with- I didn't have to tell you I wasn't coming in. I don't need someone else trying to make me feel bad. I was pissed off. Clearly. Her final response was-
Not trying to make you feel bad just cant keep doing it on my own.
I didn't respond after that. She'd already made me angry- its her frigging job to do it on her own!
I turned up this morning, like I do every Friday, and she tells me she doesn't need me because she's already gotten volunteers. She gets this attitude about how she didn't know if I was coming in or not. Clearly, as yesterday proved, if I wasn't coming in on my volunteer day I would send a message. Then we started getting into it. I told her if she didn't want me in there then I wouldn't bother coming.
She tried to say that wasn't what she wanted. I told her that one of the reasons that I was so pissed was because she never even bothered to ask how Eirene was. That was everyone else's first response, but not hers.
Some of the highlights-

Fraus: You've only come in once this year.
Me: I've come in almost every day this year. Only once this term- because I wasn't well!
Fraus: I've had to do it all on my own.
Me: You get paid to do it! I'm just a volunteer.
Fraus: I've come in every day for two years.
Me: So have I! But you always knew that you were going to get the job. That's why you did it!
Fraus: You've changed since The Rock Festival. Ever since you got to know that thing. (aka Metis)
Me: What, I've learnt to say no?
Fraus: And all your passive aggressiveness towards me.
Me: I haven't had a problem with you, at all. Its all in your head.

I just sent her a bitchy message;

I have to say its all in your head. I haven't had a problem with you at all. If I did I would have said something, don't I always. Unlike some I'm not going to bitch behind someones back. I've just learned to say no and not let people walk over me and that annoys some people.

Is that clear enough. I'm itching for a fight.
After I left The Shop I went to Eirene's class, asked Ms. Minerva if she could get something for recess because I don't want her going there. I went and got her some lunch from elsewhere.
Because I was afraid that it might hinder my chances of getting the job, which I really want to get now, I went and spoke to Ms. Minerva. I felt a little guilty that I wouldn't be in The Shop again (when I'm not there she has to call in people from the office to help, and I made a point of that to Minerva) and I wanted to make sure it wouldn't hurt my chances of getting the job. I don't think that I am going to get the job, but it would be nice. It would be even nicer now.
All fun and games.