Going To Freak Out

As I sit here I can feel the panic attack beginning...

I have an awful phobia of throwing up. Honestly, I do. I ended up in hospital a few weeks ago because I woke up and I knew that I was going to. I went into outright panic mode. I'm about to do the same right now.
Eirene has a friend sleeping over. I got up to check on the when I hear this retching. Its her little friend throwing up in his sleep. Now of course my immediate concern was to make sure that he was okay... he was so far out of it that he didn't realize what was going on. Then I grabbed Eirene and took her from the room. After that I got him up, got the shower running and called his mother, whom I will find a name for later, to come and pick him up. She said just wash him and put him back in bed!
Well for crying out loud, has this woman learned nothing about how I feel about vomiting!!!
Firstly, you would think that she would come and get her child because that is the thing to do when they're not well- take care of them. Secondly, she knows it freaks me out!
I'm going to be freaking out for days over this. (He seems fine now by the way).

I wasn't feeling very well earlier but I put that down to having my period. But this is going to set me right back to the beginning. I was progressing so well and this, well. I want her to come and get him now. I think I made that pretty obvious.

Its probably just over eating. I hope its just over eating. Far out. I should take a diazapam.

Could I Be That Crazy?

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I didn't get anywhere near losing the plot.
I'm letting myself down today. This morning I'm feeling a little sorry for myself and a little paranoid.
I saw the doctor yesterday. She insisted that the 'motion' that i had the other day was probably because whatever bug I had was working its way downwards and out. I need to start eating properly.
I've got to go back next Wednesday for a psych work up. That way I can get 20 sessions with a psychologist. Is it weird that I am excited to go to see a psychologist? I guess that it is about time that someone diagnosed whatever was going inside my head. Its probably nothing. Or it could be worse than I thought.
I could be completely nuts.